December update

It is now the end of december where in the world did 2010 go. I know time flies, but really, seriously this fast. I can hardly remember each of the months they have all seen to go by so quickly.

This holiday season has been a struggle, at times I feel like so much has been going on that I am not sure what is happening although it is hard to stay in control when you aren't even sure what is going on, and that is a good place for me to be.

Spiritually, God has been showing me what my next step towards wholeness looks like. It is a matter of finding a way to express my emotions and not just hold them in, deny them, or bottle them. Talk about a challenge, but it is something many people struggle with.

Emotionally, the semester is over. (Enough Said)

Physically - I have really struggled this holiday season. It is like my self control is waning. (Not a good thing) So I am trying to trust myself and the life change that I have made, to make good choices and be aware of what is going in my mouth. I am still loosing (yay!) But it has slowed down more like 1-2 pounds a week, which is still good just not as quick as I would like it to be. (isn't that true for all of us) This week in particular.. I went to the gym to see the fabulous trainer!!! (who is leaving soon :( ) and when I got weighed in I was only down .5 pounds.... I know I shouldn't complain, after all I saw what when into my mouth, and it was christmas week and I still lost. I know many people wish they could say that, but ... really only .5 pounds.......!!

I have been reading this great book, called Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. What a great book, almost done with it and I am sure this is one I will go back to again.

I can't believe tomorrow is New Years Eve, this is the end of my resolution. What a crazy year.

Reflections on the Tree

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree... How very lovely are thee....

Christmas time, the end of the semesters, moving back home... yeah I would say that this is a lot to have going on in one persons life. I am finding out that it needs to be just taking one moment at a time. Making sure that in each moment I am making the best choices and I have my priorities straight.

I am not sure about you, but at some point this week I am certain that the weather must have made me wonky, because for about a 24 hour period, think I ate just about everything that I came in contact with. Not sure how this happened, like I said I think it was the weather, at least I wanted it to be the weather. It is amazing how this can happen, I was so focused and still am focused however it was just a brief period of time. So I woke up the next morning and put my priorities straight. I went to the gym, I owned up to my eating and stopped the insanity.

It felt great... now I am just trying to stay on top of all of this. One of the cool things going on in my life is reading this book call WOMEN FOOD AND GOD unusual pathways to almost everything. What a great book. I will post more as I read more.

This week the semester finally ends and I can't wait. Academically this has been one of my most challenging semesters, I have seen some great things but will be glad to have the school work side of things over.

What! December!?!

Deck the Halls and Trim the Tree! Fa la la la la la la la la... Ok so maybe remembering Christmas carol lyrics isn't my strong suite, but I love this season.

Life for me has been crazy. Coming back from Cape Town it took probably a month for me to readjust to being here in the states and to get caught back up on work. It wasn't until about thanksgiving where I have finally been able to feel a little bit of the pressure begin to ease off. I also finally feel like my head is working again, it was so weird to be living in this fog of not really being here, but knowing I am here. (I am hoping my world traveling friends can understand and will back me up)

I guess I owe you all an update especially those of you that haven't seen me in a while. Let me catch you up. Last January on new years day I decided that it was time to change my life around. I was going to try to lose 80 -100 lbs in the 2010 year. What a crazy journey I was beginning.

So here we are 11 months later... and well lets just say I haven't lost my 80 or 100 lbs. But this is ok. There have been many roadblocks and bumps along the way. So first to celebrate. I have since last January lost 49 lbs! What a great accomplishment and I have lost a total of 33+" This has revealed a beginning of a new me. Well I guess I would say began to reveal the real me.

I have also just recently hit my lowest mile time. 11min 59 sec. I also am running for 3.2 miles at a time, well mostly I wog it, which is my variation of walking and Jogging, however just today I ran it. It was great! I am beginning to enjoy my work out, ok well certainly not love it, but I do see how it is great for me.

All this to say is these great wins have produces some interesting challenges, such as learning to accept myself, learning to embrace the new me.

I also have to bring up the idea that many of you have comment on the original title for this blog which was a fat girls journey...Yes I get it.. but for me I haven't changed it because that is what I really believe/d I was. I was the fat girl I owned it as my identity, and am still trying to shed that identity. But for those of you who spoke words of life into me regarding this I simply say THANK YOU! Each of those words while probably poorly received by me was heard, and I believe they will begin to take root and really blossom.

Also this year has just brought a great focus of what my priorities are. I have spent so many year especially the last two years focused on my academics in an effort to distract from my unhappiness but this semester God has realigned me to say lets focus on your spiritual life and your physical health, and it has come at a cost, I know I will probably end up with B's this semester, but it has been worth it.

This has been probably the biggest life change semester ever. Someone I know and value said to me.."Sarah you can't be a life change person if you aren't willing to go through life change yourself."