Snow Removal = cardio ?

The Question? - Can I substitute shoveling for my cardio day at the gym?

The Answer? - No! but it does count for extra calories burned, (so i guess the bagel i had for breakfast won't be so bad)

I often wonder why it is that the winter brings out the muncher in all of us. I don't know about you but bring the snow down, and bring out the snacks usually go hand in hand. I feel like a bear getting ready for hibernation, as it is so easy to put on pounds during the winter.

So given the trends in the past to snack and eat my way through the winter, I guess it is no surprise that snowy days bring out the hardest challenges. I did ok today, and I am giving myself extra credit because not only did I move the 8 trillion pounds of snow with a shovel! But also convinced myself to get to the gym.

I am getting more excited about my gym work outs it feels like things have finally started to change. I noticed a real difference in my mood and energy levels on the days I make it to the gym verses the days I don't go. Also I have found some joy, yes you read that right joy in my walk/runs. I feel better each time I do it. It feels easier and a little freer. Now don't get me wrong I am not running marathons, I am doing anywhere from 2-3 miles, but hey it is a start and better than nothing.

Fear

This is the second time at least that I have come back to the topic of Fear. I am constantly surprised at how dominant a role fear plays in our lives.

Do you see it in yours? I know for the longest time, I hesitated to even begin to loose weight because I knew that I would fail and I was just so scared of thinking about beginning because I was so focused on how I would fail, and it would be over. The fear of how poorly I would do would keep me from even starting the journey.

Fear is something we all face. Who knows why, or where it comes from. Fear can be a good thing though, we need and rely on fear to sometimes keep us safe. But it can become something that controls us instead of just keeping us safe.

So here we are on this journey, I am two months in. Does it mean I am not fearful. No of course there are days when I am scared and certain that I will not do well. Or there are days when I know that I am not doing well. And sure I get scared wondering if it is worth it, maybe I should just throw the towel in but, I don't. This time around I can't because it is different, I have people I am staying accountable to, and the desire to change is more than the fear of failing.

So I step over the fear. I look it in the face acknowledge it, and keep going. Sure sometimes the fear wins, but even if I loose a battle I am pretty sure I can win the war.

Taking the Next Step

For so long I have lived with this fear of failing. Why? Well I wish that were a lot easier to figure out, but no need to go into that here. I realized something today. That when it comes to my health, my weight I am finally taking the next step. Sure I know that at any point I could fail, and that scares me, but I am slowly learning that if I stay in the moment and not let myself get to overwhelmed about how far I have to go, or how scary it might look right now, then I do ok.

Does that mean in these last almost 2 months now I haven't failed. Yeah right, I have but I don't stay focused on it. I keep going on.


I think that making with a life style would be good. I think of all the other things I want to try but never do because I am scared I won't get it right. Someone wise told me today, that "Sarah, you are going to fail, but if you want to do big things you have to fail." I was so against this, and then as we began to talk I realized just how right she was. We do learn a whole lot more from our failures than we do from our successes. Truth being, that we just take sucess as it comes, yet when we face failure, we sit down and look at it, examine it find out what adjustments we need to make and then try again.

Sure, I am going to fail, but I am learning that, failing doesn't make me a failure. All I have to do is be willing to take the next step. Play the game on the front lines. If I am willing to do that who knows what kind of sucess is waiting for me. Who knows what kind of impact I just migt have.

So, sure I will fail a battle with this weight issue once and a while, the goal though is to keep fighting. Not to give in to the war, just because one battle didn't go exactly as I had planned. Who knows when victory will come or even in this case, what I might look like when it does, but as long as I keep pressing on. I know one thing. It will come!

Refocus

Well here we are 6 weeks in, it is make it or break it time for most new habits. I pray that this new lifestyle will really become a habit. I am taking this week to really refocus. I found that my week and a half fighting sicknesses has been really hard to come back from. It would be so easy to walk away from this right now and count it up as another valient attempt at life change, but I am trying not to let that happen.

So tomorrow morning before work it is back to the gym. I have called my trainer and told her that I need to see her, that my determination in a reboot. Funny isn't, we can be so committed to making a change, and then we can almost just as quickly convince ourselves that we tried and it just didn't work.

Why is it? Why is it so easy for me to give up on myself? This time it won't happen! I am not going to give up.

Lasting Change verses Temporary Change

Today it snowed, although we lacked the great blizzard of 2010 we were promised it did flurry, and make all things rather pretty. While the snow was coming down and I was working I had sometime to contemplate what is it that makes life change lasting.

I have watched people in my life make changes only to have them go back to their old ways in anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months. Why?

I began to think that it must come down to our motivation to change. When we are scared into change it lasts only as long as the threat is there. Once the threat is gone then it takes an even bigger threat to prompt the change again.

Sometimes we are motivated by what we see on the outside, and then the change will last until what we see is more pleasant to the eye.

Change can also be motivated by others. As long as they are there prompting us to change to stick with it we do. But we are so needy of the others to keep the change going.

Finally change happens and sticks I think, when we are doing it for ourselves to feel more whole. This place may take a long time to get to. Some will call it hitting rock bottom, some will call it having an enlightened moment. It is the feeling that something really has to change, that the end of the road has arrived.

Today I found out that I think I am on this path. I had the chance to really make some poor choices and have the validated, yet I made the good ones simply because I really want it to be different. I am ready.

Where I have been?

First and foremost I apologize. Do not think my absence in posting is due to a slipping of my goal or vision. Actually it is due to a violent stomach bug. Who would have thought that some microscopic organism has the power to put a person down from multiple days. Finally feeling better and refreshed and renewed towards the Goal.

While the stomach bug was rough, there is a bigger challenge ahead. How to stay focused. With it being the Superbowl Sunday and snacks a plenty it will be hard to remind myself of the tricks that make one feel successful during parties. ONe of the great things to do is to take a plate and fill it up. Fill it with some veggies a little dip and maybe a little bit of salsa and chips. The goal then is to make that plate last. Also drink a lot of water, and if you are eating a meal. Eat the main meal first so that you aren't as hungry when the snacks start to come out. And as for the eternal question to dessert or not to dessert. I say, sure have a little but know which one you want and stick with it. DOn't fall for the a little of this and a little of that.

So, here we are into month two still at the gym, and still working on making great food choices. The clothes are feeling great, and my confidence and energy at a new all time high.

Loving it.

What a day!

Well I know it has been about three days since I last blogged but guess what life has been busy.

Just recently I had the opportunity to take a good look at why I respond so emotionally to conflict. A good friend raised the point that as a female I am hard wired to nurture and it upsets me when I see those I care for in controversy. But again I raise the point I have always stood by that conflict is good. It gives us a chance to really define what it is we stand for and gives us a chance to learn and see other points of view. Conflict should by its very nature be as God would describe it Iron sharpening Iron.

With that said, it still gets a gut level emotional reaction from me. Whether I am involved directly in the conflict or on the outside. When I am involved, I would tend to say that maybe some of my reaction would be defensive, but I have learned over the years to keep my reactions to those I trust with it.

Lets get to the heart of this blog though. After a long day and some tough conversations I will admit. My first desire was to pull into McDonalds and get a milk shake, fries and cheese burger. WHY? I begin to wonder whether this will always be my reaction or if there is hope that I can reteach myself. I will say though , I fought the craving and enjoyed a delicious, healthy lunch instead.