Where have all the postings gone?

What !? When did it become the end of January. Well at least I am able to get one more blog in before the first month of Twenty Eleven. This new year starts off on a good foot, I am down with only about 35 lbs left to go in my weight loss. I am feeling great, getting used to new clothing; but more than all that I have begun to see that I am a person of worth.

I know for some of you, you think of course isn't everyone. However while it is true and many people will stand next to you and tell you of the worth they see in your, they struggle to see it in themselves.

If I have learned one thing over the past year it has been that unless I am looking at and addressing what is on the inside any change I go to make will only be temporary. Wow as I read that it seems so... new agish. When I speak of looking at the inside for me it has meant learning to live in the present, learning to live a life that is not numbed by food, but is actually lived. It has meant learning to know that my worth is not in what I do, or what I could do but my worth is in who I am.

I have struggled in the past few weeks. I have learned enough about eating and what I can eat to be able to eat off my strict program and still see a weight loss. This is a good thing! However then I need to readjust my expectations because losing only 1/2 a pound a week just is incredibly frustrating. So the choice becomes mine, do I continue to eat off my program and lose 1/2 a pound a week or do I find the discipline to get back on program and eat what I should. Oh the choices. I guess I will have to make them moment by moment.