It is finished!

It is finished.  I have completed my final semester in my Masters of Divinity program at Alliance Theological Seminary.  Now what?  Three and half years I have been working toward this and now it is over, just like that.  What do I do?  Why did I run this race?

The past weeks have been some of the toughest weeks in this journey, leaving me in tears, and ready to give up.  That would have been what the old Sarah did, but now this new Sarah, reached out to family and friends and asked them to help. To come along side me and help me through, I took advice, and allowed others to let me fall apart.  At one point I was at a friends house and she was speaking to her children and said "ok, put the electronics away, middle of the table." I looked at the phone in my hand and put it in the middle of the table, then i realized I didn't need to do everything others were telling me.

I hit a new low point with my diet and exercise. I was at the gym working out and did an exercise station that was directly in front of the mirror, and the lies came full force.  I had nothing left to fight them so I gave in.  I was done, I wanted nothing more to do with this journey with trying so hard, after all when I was stuck staring at myself in that mirror I didn't see any change.  Nothing was ever going to change to why keep going.  (at least that is what I was believing)

I gave myself 5 working days to feel this way, it started Monday and I determined that by Friday I would pull myself out of this funk.  However it was thursday night when things started to come around.  I talked to my running buddies and asked them to go above and beyond to make sure that ran friday morning.  Even if it meant coming and pulling me out of my bed to do it.   They didn't need to, I got up and headed out, and things began to turn the corner.  I met all my dead lines and it is done.

Things were going well I was turning around, I had finished school writing over 60 pages in the last few weeks, I had started running again. Then it happened....

What started as what seemed like an innocent toe cramp, has become such a frustrating thing.  Ok, I know I am not a marathon runner, I know I am not a professional athlete, but I am woman who has goals and things she desires.  and this toe is really starting to bother me.  So on a monday I had this toe cramp, it was fine enough to run tuesday, wednesday, thursday, I took friday off and tried to run on Saturday.. and I was about 1 mile in and was in so much pain I couldn't run so I had to walk, back home. Then Sunday I was going to run, but just standing and walking hurt. Talked with some amazing people, (the great trainer, Sarah Sauer and Associates) and decided that it was time to ice the foot.  I iced it for the first time Sunday night, then it was great! Yay! So I ran on it Monday just a little run 3 miles, then trained, a great session, then I was sure to ice my foot again Monday night.

Tuesday I woke up and it was a little painful probably a 2 on a scale of 1 - 10 but as the morning went on it steadily climbed, so no run and minimal training (strength). So tonight the toe got a double bath... (torture) and it better be feeling better tomorrow.  After a healthy dose of Ankle ABC's and some toe training.. (hehehe) it got a great rub and is tucked away ready for bed.

But talk about frustrating.  This toe is so small yet produces a great amount of pain, but isn't it usually the case.  It wasn't the 3.5 years that were the hardest it was the last 2 weeks that created the hardest amount of pain.  Yes there is nothing that you can do about it, but trust others, and allow them to help you during this time.

So that is where it is ...