Authentic

Authentic:

Have you ever tried to define a word that is a character trait, or a life style. Go ahead try... I know that I struggle so hard with defining it in a way that makes me happy with the definition. Everything I tried to come up with resulted in me feeling like something was left out.

Dictionary.com says : Authentic means- –adjective
1.not false or copied; genuine; real: an authentic antique. 2.having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; 3.entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy

This weekend I came to realize that we as people, maybe only Americans or maybe only me, struggle with being authentic. Why? What am so afraid of? Is it a fear that someone will find out I am not perfect. Well, guess what I am not. I am not now, nor will I ever be perfect. Is it a fear of failing to measure up? Maybe but it depend on who's doing the measuring. If I am measuring, then yeah, sure of course I am going to fail because I know that my standards aren't right, and most of the time if I am doing the measuring it is against someone else. And well we all know that, that never works out well.

So what holds up back from being authentic? For me for the longest time it was failing or being judged, but now ... I don't have that luxury of worrying about that. Someone wise told me today that change happens when the cost of staying the same out weights the fear and cost of changing.

I guess I reached that point. I had to change. I had to start letting people into my life. Why? because I wanted my life to more than what it was. I wanted to connect with people, I wanted to do life with others and how can I expect people to share with me, if I can't learn to be authentic, and open with them.

So not only is part of my resolution to journey to a thinner healthier life, but in order to do this I need to learn to be authentic. This authenticity is not just about my weight or with other people, but it needs to pour into all aspects of my life.

What will that look like? Good question I guess that is still part my journey to figure out and wrestle with things. I really noticed my struggle this weekend, I didn't make it to the gym for three days in a row, and it was so second nature for me to find a way to justify why. But then I stopped realized that sure I could justify it, and probably convince myself of why I hadn't been but what would that do. Would that be me being authentic. No, so here it is the reason I didn't go to the gym was because....I was tired. Hmm, kind of freeing.

Living authentically, is going to be just that freeing. It will take courage, but as I am coming to see and really believe, most things in my life when I first start take courage.

At least the things that are worth doing, take courage.