Fear of loosing momentum

I can hardly believe we are done with the first week of the new year. Friday, was a day of rest for me. It was great I have to say, and much needed. Today however; I felt like I had lost a little of the momentum. Last night I spent the night being lazy with one of the coolest people I know. Yesterday was also a day I didn't go to the gym. Now here it is Saturday night, while I made some great choices with what I ate, I didn't get to the gym again.

As I was sitting here tonight I began to wonder, where did my momentum go? Did I just loose some of it? I had to stop myself. This is the old pattern of thought, that now it would be over. In the past it had to be perfect every moment of the journey no place for rest or variance. Yet when you look at things variety is the reality and sometimes you need to take a day or two off. Some days will be fabulous I make it to the gym, I eat great, I feel great. While other days I will struggle. Life will happen and I may not do it all perfectly, AND THAT IS OK! I can't let living life become an excuse a way out for me. I allow not living up to my expected perfection stop me or cause me to doubt my self on this journey.

A good friend of mine left me some feedback on one of my latest blogs, and he hopes that I will begin to hunger for God and the word of God, that I will allow this to feed me. I pray for this too. The "hunger" in each of us can be filled two ways a healthy way which leads to wholeness, or a self satisfying, unhealthy way. My old patterns were just that, self satisfying at the moment, which merely held off the pains of my "hunger". The old patterns were a place where if I were perfect and met all my expectation I figured I would never be "hungry", and since I never met my expectation I understood why I was always "hungry".

Now it is about laying the foundation and making the choices that will feed me in a healthy way. The guidance I need, and the wisdom I need to establish these more realistic expectations can only come from one source, My creator. Iif they come from me they run the risk of not being the right expectations. I am looking for a way to feed my whole self, and only the Lord knows what I truly need.

So thanks to my friend for reminding me that despite all the temptations ahead, the desires to throw in the towel, the feelings of failure. I have the one true source who can really feed me wholly, and healthily. I need to rely more on Him, then on me.